A reflection from the 2022 Youth Drum Building Rites of Passage
Tender, authentic, and wonderfully disorienting. These are the words that come to mind when I think of our youth rites experience together. In the day-to-day bustle of living life, it’s easy to miss opportunities for tenderness and deeper conversations. Stepping out of “normal time” to be in this youth rites with other men and boys was wonderfully disorienting. It created “non-normal” moments where Gabe and I got to connect with each other and with the other men to explore the move from boyhood to manhood in a way that would be nearly impossible back home.
The best way for me to describe what took place was a seed of transformation. There were such beautiful moments of conversation, learning, and connecting over the 24 hours. And, yet not a visible transformation took place before our eyes. What I do believe is that seeds of transformation were planted and nurtured in the beautiful container created by the elders. As Gabe continues to grow and develop, we will be able to look back at that seminal experience and see the way it began to shape and carve Gabe into the adult man he is becoming.
I’m deeply grateful to have been part of this remarkable experience.
– Greg and Gabe Mutch
Greg and his son, Gabe live in Grand Rapids, MI, with Christine (mom), Ella (daughter) and their Australian Labradoodle. Gabe is finishing 8th grade at the Grand Rapids Public Museum School. He loves ultimate Frisbee, flag football, video games and playing piano. Greg is co-founder of AG Collaborative, a boutique leadership firm. It is doing its best to create better humans under the guise of experiential leadership and people development for companies and organizations of all kinds.
Eight fathers and mentors brought their sons and mentees to our 2018 Youth Drum Building Rites of Passage. They each came for different reasons but all came with a certain level of trust that it would be meaningful.
Dads were hoping for an experience that would lead their son into healthy transition into adolescence and also honor the growth in that regard that had already occurred. Mentors came hoping to make a difference in the life of a young brother.
Some of the youth came reluctantly, some came to honor their dad’s, grandfather’s or mentor’s wishes. Some came hoping to meet new soulful friends. All came away with lessons learned from nature, from small group sharing and from reflecting on how individual components used to build the drums had a story to tell about how it came to be part of the drum. The drum built with their dad/mentor represents their life to this point and also honors their dreams of who they hope to become. Solitude in nature opened them up to experiencing God and life in alluring new ways.
They left with a blessing from their father, mentor and blessings from each elder. They left with a sense of soulful connection with their dads, their mentors, their drums, other young brothers, other dads, the leadership team, with God and with nature.
This is humbling and important work that we at Illuman of Indiana-Michigan feel called to do. The feedback that we received from past participants have warmed our hearts and have given us the courage and confidence to offer it again.
We hope you are intrigued at this possibility of gifting your son, grandson, nephew, or mentee with this drum build rites of passage. It will be a gift of a lifetime.
-Tom Pawlak (co-founder)
When I remember the youth rite of passage from 2016, our very first one, I remember the dads present to their sons, the sons open to the experience in committed ways, and a leadership team focused and creative. I remember the final ritual with dads washing and kissing their son’s feet, sons finally able to drum with us, using drums they and their dads had made and the heart felt energy we all received as we drummed together. I remember this and always will.
As the leadership team approaches our upcoming year, we want to extend the opportunity to boys with mentors who may not be their dads, as well as with those participating with fathers. We anticipate that this year will deepen us and expand us as did the first year. We hope the same for those who may attend.
-Michael Whitman (co-founder)
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